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~ChaoticServer

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About Me Member DA Addict U N K N O W N ~ M A N I A C13/Female/Sweden Recent Activity Deviant for 4 Months
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 35 Deviations
199 Comments
935 Pageviews

Hi, I'm sad. How do you feel?

Thu Nov 26, 2009, 11:09 AM
pOh's life
Meaningsless.. Useless.. But I keep on going. In the
darkness reaching after someone who'll accept me.

I can't draw, can't concentrate much. I'm feeling empty, just like nothing is there. Just an shell that keeps on smiling even though it aren't happy. Just like that does I feel, lonely, depressed, empty. Discussed with myself yesterday if I were a kid that just wants attention or if it's actually something wrong with me. It ended with me screaming shut up.. I've.. Kinda.. Freezen out my friends, a thing that I regrets. And i'm still stuck in lies that I created when I was 10-12. Goddamn what a stupid brat I was.. It feels good that I can write out this.. Even though this is an art-site and not a diary. But I don't give a shit of that.

Here is something I wrote for not that long ago, ridicously in love in a guy. Then I been reminded of a childhood friend and so did I feel bad -- AGAIN. Note: I've a terrible english, so please don't kill me.. Before i'm prepared.

--------------------------
SHUT UP ~ I don't wanna hear you
DISAPPEAR ~ I don't wanna see you
GO AWAY ~ Don't you see that I don't want you here?
WHY ~ doesn't you shut up, leave me alone, don't look at me with those friendly eyes
PAIN ~ your voice is like posion running through my blood
FUCKIT ~ I wanna stab you endlessy until you not are in my mind
NO ~ I doesn't see your happiness, only hate fleeting in my heart
THE END ~ I wish I would see you again, but i've a place in hell. You haven't.

I love you.. And it'll never stop as long as i'm alive...
--------------------------

Well, I hate love. Or not the love to my cat, Max. He's someone I never want to lose <3

4 Comments | Previous Journal Entries
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Poets of the Fall - Roses

deviantID

Short and good, i'm 13 years old and are named Marika. Lives in Sweden and have a crazy personality(s). Likes to draw fantasy dog/wolfs, also do bloody 'vector' drawings. In fact i'm a strange girl, LIVE WITH IT. Have a pretty *ahem* bad memory, don't get upset if I don't remember you.I hate yaoi. Likes shounen-ai. Likes shounen more than shoujo, 98 % of anime sucks and I just like Beyblade, Bakugan, Yu-Gi-Oh! and Bleach.

Favorite bands/artists:
KoRn, Disturbed, Prodigy, :wumpscut:, t.A.T.u, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Earth, Wind & Fire, Rammstein, Sum 41, Pendulum, Poets of the Fall, Skillet, RED, Gorillaz, Terminal Choice, The Ting Tings, Earth, Wind & Fire, Depeche Mode, VNV Nation, The Birthday Massacre, Fall Out Boy, Dir en Grey, Junkie XL, Avenged Sevenfold, Rentrer En Soi, Daft Punk, Mudvayne, Muse, Static-x, Neulander, Panic! At The Disco, Shiny Toy Guns, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, D'espairsRay, Michael Jackson, The Fashion, Within Temptation, Evanescence, Feeder, Asian Dub Foundation, Andy Hunter, Nine Inch Nails, Simple Plan, SR-71, Story of the Year, Era/Erasure, Saliva, Trapt, Nickelback, Papa Roach, Halifax.. And many more.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: In your nightmares.
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: What my size on t-shirts are? L xP
  • Interests: Drawing, computer, photography, webdesign etc.
  • Favourite movie: Den Osynlige (Great swedish movie!)
  • Favourite band or musician: Ehum.. Öhum.. Too many..
  • Favourite genre of music: Mostly rock.
  • Favourite artist: Hayaikiru c: .. If artist means art xD
  • Favourite poet or writer: Christina Wahldén
  • Favourite photographer: Paulina Dudzik [paula2206-photo.deviantart.com]
  • Favourite style of art: Small eyes, tiny legs and tiny body XD
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: Old school mp3 *w*
  • Wallpaper of choice: dA island 8D [the one made by priteeboy]
  • Skin of choice: I'm happy with that i have now
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy X c:
  • Favourite gaming platform: PLAYSTATION 2 IS OWNING EVERYTHING
  • Favourite cartoon character: Daffy Duck. HE IS MY HERO.
  • Personal Quote: No one wants quote me, it's not child friendly.
  • Tools of the Trade: Mouse, Paint, Photofiltre.

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Comments


:iconwandragonica:
*WanDragonica 1 hour 48 minutes ago
thanks for the fave :)

--
"We want it we want
We want a reason to live
We're on a pilgrimage
A crusade for hope
Cause in our hearts and minds and souls we know
We need it we need
We need more than this "
:iconamalthea1:
~Amalthea1 15 hours 1 minute ago
I våran Art Trade, vill du att jag ska rita GreyGirl med chibistil eller med min vanliga stil? :3

--
glorphffs.
:iconchaoticserver:
~ChaoticServer 10 hours 20 minutes ago
Gör som du vill C:

--
Let's get this party started.
You make me feel insane.
I want to be the one.
To make myself sane
KoRn - Let's Get This Party Started <3

Avatar made by ~Riev-san.
:iconvampyra-drake:
*vampyra-drake 3 days 13 hours ago
thanks for the visit ^^

--
:rose: I am a dragon/wolf/horse artist! :rose:

Avi was made by *RatRabbit !!!

Go, check her out! Me too, if you want to ;P

Vampy offers commissions o3o
:iconchaoticserver:
~ChaoticServer 3 days 12 hours ago
You're weclome ^^

--
Let's get this party started.
You make me feel insane.
I want to be the one.
To make myself sane
KoRn - Let's Get This Party Started <3

Avatar made by ~Riev-san.
:iconchaoticserver:
~ChaoticServer Nov 13, 2009, 5:57:42 AM
8DDDD

--
Let's get this party started.
You make me feel insane.
I want to be the one.
To make myself sane
KoRn - Let's Get This Party Started <3

Avatar made by ~Riev-san.
:iconchaoticserver:
~ChaoticServer Oct 22, 2009, 9:13:30 AM
You're welcome c:

--
Let's get this party started.
You make me feel insane.
I want to be the one.
To make myself sane
KoRn - Let's Get This Party Started <3

Avatar made by ~Riev-san.
:iconcaged-disorder:
*caged-disorder Sep 26, 2009, 6:32:58 PM
Thank you for the watch~!

--
Gott weiß ich will kein Engel sein
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